Korken's Peaceful Warrior Journey

KORKEN'S PEACEFUL WARRIOR JOURNEY

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Life's Ladder of Unquenchable Desire

5 Months have quietly passed by since the last time I wrote- jumping from one silence retreat to another, spending 10 days alone in a pitch dark room, and making best friends with a Tree, whose delicious fruits give man immortal life.  At this point, most of you are wondering if you should even read the rest of this post.  Dark rooms? Silence retreats?  Imaginary Trees?!  Certainly I have lost my mind and entered the twilight zone.  My friends, you are absoluletly right!  But like every truth this silly universe of ours has to offer, this statement is only half the truth.  What does it mean to lose one's mind or enter the twilight zone anyway?  Could this actually be a 'good thing?'  Give me a few more minutes of your time, as I attempt to give you a glimpse of the bliss that exists beyond this heavily-veiled illusion we like to call our life. 

Before I dive into all this, perhaps I should give you a bit of background on how I began to lose my mind.  Just a few short months ago, I began the study of the Kabbalah and the Tree of Life (whose proper study includes a number of other systems, which need not be mentioned at this time).  In a simple nutshell, study and meditation on the Tree of Life is meant to raise your consciousness, to give you a different perspective on our existence, to bring light to the mysteries of how this crazy, little world of ours was created and continues to be created.  

But I am not here to praise the Kabbalah or the Tree, nor will I bore you with the details of every lesson I learned along the way.  Because the truth is that no matter what words I use, it is merely impossible to transfer the understanding and experience of this journey through language.  Therefore, my purpose in this short time is to attempt to share my understanding with you in a way that might plant a tiny seed in your heart.  And it is my greatest hope that this little, bitty seed may grow into the most beautiful tree the world has ever seen inside of you.

But enough chit chat, let us begin this adventure.  Without further ado....Ladies and Gents, I give you Life's Ladder of Unquenchable Desire.  


I'd like for you to picture this ladder... it has its roots in the Earth and soars up through the clouds and way way way beyond our limited vision.  It doesn't matter what color the ladder is or what it looks like.  Now, go ahead and place 99.99999999999% of the world's population on this ladder (you may need to make it a tiny bit bigger).  This is the ladder of desire, but not just any kind of desire...insatiable desire.  The type of desire that only leads to more desire and more desire.. and.. you get my point.   Picture yourself somewhere on this ladder.  People are climbing over you, stepping on you, clawing at you, while you equally return the favor to others.  The temperature and air pressure rise as you get higher and higher from the Earth's surface.  You're not exactly sure why you continue to climb, but you have this unquestionable certainty that when you get to the top of this thing, you will experience the greatest happiness and have everything you ever wanted in life.

But the one thing we are shockingly blind to is the fact that this ladder is the universe's greatest joke.  Because not only does this tireless climb lead us further from our happiness but it also has no end.  I need to repeat this... the ladder is infinite... there is no top to it!  No matter how much we attain or accomplish in this life, we will ALWAYS want to get to the next rung.  There will ALWAYS be someone who has done a little more than we have or is just a little more talented or has a tiny fraction more than us.  And we will feel this need to continue to climb until no one is below us---until our sacred little toes are stuffed in the mouth of the person in 2nd place.  And at that very moment we will be satisfied... we will have everything we want... we will be the happiest we have ever been... and we will be remembered and revered for climbing so high forever and ever and ever.

'If I could just sell one more house... if I could just win one more academy award...if I could just be the CEO...if I could just get married and have the three children I was meant to have... if I could just find my soulmate... if I could just get my PHD so people would respect my ideas...if I could just have a little more than I have!  THEN, I will be satisfied... shit, I'm running out of time!'  

We are so focused on getting and attaining things in this life that we miss the whole purpose.  Who is it we really want to BE?!  And why do we really want all this?  And how is attaining it making the world a little bit better than it was when you first arrived on it?  Wait... the world?  What does the world have to do with any of this?  Hello?!  You really think you were 'sent' here to pop out babies, attend college so you can be thousands of dollars in debt, work in a cubicle 8 hours a day, earn recognition for your work, buy the car of your dreams, and then lay on your death bed as you finally realize you could have done it all differently?

I know, that's really depressing, but why must we wait until the 11th hour to discover that our little feet were put on this Earth for a reason that goes beyond everything we find important.  Who do you want to BE?  What do you really want to experience? And how can you bring those two together to really make a positive impact in the world?

I need to take a step back and give you some examples here.   Wouldn't you think that someone like Michael Jackson would have been happy?  After all the albums he sold, the worldwide recognition, the awards, the money... the world at his fingertips.  I wasn't kidding when I said the higher you climb, the more pressure you feel and the lonlier it gets.  Michael Jackson was one of the most ambitious people the world had ever seen, and yes, he made some huge, positive impacts on the world, but at what expense?

He felt that he had to change everything about himself so the world would love him.  But no change was ever enough, no amount of success was enough.  And at one point we grow so tired of climbing, that we let go, and fall to our seeming deaths.  Michael Jackson, I reckon, was one of the most unhappiest people in the world when he died.  And believe me, none of what he had accomplished in his life, could possibly have saved him from the shambles of his inner life.

MJ is an extreme example, but you see the microcosm in many people's lives.  The ballet dancer in the movie 'Black Swan' that would go so far as to sacrifice her own life to have that one moment of pure love and adoration screaming from the audience, as she took her final bow.  How far we will go to earn love and acceptance- not only from others but more importantly from ourselves- how much more money must we earn to feel worthy---how many more things must we own to feel rich, safe and secure? 

We feel we are nobodies for the majority of our life and with every rung we climb to help fill that void, we can never quite find the missing piece... the saving grace.  Many of us grow weary of climbing and just stop at one point and go through the motions of life.  The teacher with great potential and passion that has grown resentful and forgotten why he began to teach in the first place.  The psychiatrist who has lost his way and become second fiddle to tiny, white illusions that numb our pain. The once famous entertainer that drinks herself to sleep every night, wishing she could get one more moment in the limelight.  The gay church leader who has sacrificed his own happiness and identity to make a very good living in a place that would immediately turn its back on him if the truth surfaced.  The truth!  The truth.  Why, this is our saving grace.

If we could just walk in our truth in every moment of our lives, we could have the faith to let go of this illusory ladder and all it promises us and fall, gracefully and happily,  into the white net waiting for us at the bottom.  Where we could walk freely and comfortably upon the heart of our mother earth.  Where we could use our passions and gifts to melt into the ONE path that brings lasting happiness not only to ourselves but to every single thing that we touch. We all experience this path differently but instead of separating ourselves from each other, we cannot help to see ourselves in the eyes of everyone that walks with us.  I'm not suggesting that you forget your individuality and become a monk.  Rather, I'm simply suggesting that you walk in your truth and live your life with integrity.  What do I mean by this?

I mean not being a slave to your environment, to the material/physical world, to your endless desires.  If you are an actor and believe a certain company serves food that has brought a lot of suffering to the world, then why would you be a face in their commercial, even if they offered you 3 million dollars?  Why not focus on projects that actually use your acting talents to bring more awareness to the world, even if the pay check and recognition wasn't as glamorous?  Why do you act?  So your face can grace the television screen in useless drivle or so you can tell stories and help better the lives of others through these stories? 

 Why would you teach at a university whose soul purpose is to grow richer and hand out results that are seemingly useless?  Why would you continue to do things in your life that harm our planet after watching a documentary that educates you on what actions we can take to help our environment?  Why should we ever do anything for only the money... or the recognition... or adoration from others?  Think about the freedom and inner strength you could find if you took these loose, heavy chains that are around your arms and legs, and threw them to the ground, spread your little wings, and flew. 

When we give ourselves this freedom, we realize there is no limit to what we can do or what we can create.  You guys, we have a huge responsiblity as to what kind of influence we put out into this world.  Every thought we have, every word that is uttered through our lips, every action we take has an incredibly lasting influence on the world around us and inside of us.  We are greatly powerful beings who could change this world in a matter of seconds if we all really woke up to the 'heaven' that is knocking at our door- the zone of twinkling twilight that exists right here on earth.  And we can experience this bliss...together.  I promise you it exists.  I am sitting in it right now.  I am breathing in its beauty and flapping my wings to the air.

You may find yourself on this ladder without a way to truly let it go-  in debt or trapped in a job so you can pay your mortgage or feed your children.  Some of us will not be able to simply let go so quickly.  There are many other options.  You just need to ask within and be open to a change in your life and suddenly you will find small glowing steps, leading you down, one step at a time, back to the path of integrity and truth, back to a path that reminds you of why you were brought here.  And this path will provide you with everything you will ever desire in the material sense (money, food, respect, love, you name it.)


And you will look up at this Ladder of Unquenchable Desire and feel deep empathy for those still blindly climbing it.  And a sense of freedom will bring water to your eyes, as you finally realize that everything you ever wanted was in a place where you least expected to find it.  And you will chuckle to yourself because you, my friend, my brother, my sister, my reflection, my one and only Self, have seemingly lost your little mind. 




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